Forgive Me Oh Lord For I Have Sinned – IV

Arunachala is a hill in Tiruvannamalai, Tamil Nadu where thousands of people go for ‘Giripradakshina’, especially on a poornima or a full moon night! They go around a hill which they consider to be a linga, the iconic form of Shiva.  Surrounding the hill there are eight smaller temples, Indra Lingam, Agni Lingam, Yama Lingam, Vayu Lingam and so on. It’s a ritual to pray at each of these temples on the way around the hill.  After finishing the Giripradakshina, they go seek blessing in the main temple complex. The entire Giripradakshina is around 14 kms and takes 4-5 hours to complete.


Around six months ago, Ram’s parents wanted to go for Giripradakshina and like a good boy that he is, he planned the pilgrimage! Like most of the pilgrims, they started the pradakshina bare feet at 3 am and before even reaching the main temple by 9 am, they had blisters on their feet. (Courtesy scorching heat and pointy pebbles!)  And since it was a poornima, the place was mad crowded and there were huge lines for the darshan at main temple.  By now due to exhaustion, blisters and crowd, they couldn’t walk so Ram decided to take his parents again for the darshan at main temple next weekend. (It is around 3.5 hour drive from Bangalore.)

P.S.: Yes, yes! The blog is definitely a part of the Amsterdam series, last one at that! Just stay with me! We’ll get there, promise

And next weekend, yours truly was scheduled to do the Giripradakshina! (in an auto, because yours truly feels that God loves us, no matter what!) Now as we reach there, even without a poornima, we were welcomed by huge lines and crazy ones at that! It was getting very suffocating because the lines just wouldn’t move.  Ram had to put Dhruvi onto his shoulders so that she could breath.  These are the times when we wonder, does God want this? Crowds? People pushing each other? Kids finding it hard to breath? I’m sure not! Irritated, I kept wondering while we waited impatiently for the darshan.


Six months later, at midnight 12, there we were! Walking on a crowded street around a canal, almost doing a pradakshina, looking at those hot girls in skimpy clothes and flashy make up in those windows in RLD, Amsterdam!  It was funny that then, I wasn’t complaining about the crowd and doing it on my free will! In my defense, there was space to breath and people were not pushing! Plus, there might be some flying fuckers providing live entertainment like singing songs aloud! (Morons! Who gets high while travelling! Phew!)

It was almost like God taunting…”So, you would very happily and patiently, walk around a canal in crowd to look at half-naked girls…But to see me at the temple…Tujhey maut aati hai? (There’s no way I could translate that in English! I tried! I swear!) Well, then I grinned at God and said a silent ‘Thank You for everything!’

Magic Stuff!

Well, as I said in Part I, Part II and Part III, that day in Amsterdam was nothing short of magic and so was the night!  But there was one thing that almost made it to the regret list! Truffles!! Okay, giving you a quick background; magic mushrooms and truffles come from the same fungus called Psilocybin truffles!  Truffles are the part of fungus that grows underground called sclerotia. Mushrooms are the part that grows above ground; sporocarp. Both have almost similar psychedelic effects upon consumption!

Magic mushrooms are illegal around the world but truffles on the other hand are legal in Netherlands and a few other places! Now, the crazy part! The booklet that we got along with the pretty truffle box talked about a range of truffles with different potencies and other effects! I was totally blown away by the details on the kinds of trip parameters! But wondered, would they live up to the high expectations! Just to jog your memory, the guy at the store said that we need to eat them indoors and stay put till the effect lasts!

Ram Reloaded!

Now, we had to check out at 11 pm from Novotel and catch a bus back to Paris at 10 pm!  And we got up at 9 am in the morning! (You can’t blame us, can you?)  So as we get up, I was considering the only option possible! Take that bloody wretched box to Paris and have it there! But as I searched site after site, it said that it was freaking illegal!  And as I said, it wasn’t about money anymore, but about experiencing the shit! So I googled a bit more and it said that chances of getting caught in a bus are much lesser compared to travelling by train! I saw a ray of hope!

Thankfully, however stupid I can get, Ram is pretty sane a guy you know! (Except for that one time, the previous day!)  He would never do anything illegal and never let me do it as well! So he said we should throw the box away and I resorted to the last option in my repertoire! A mix of sad pout and a puppy face is what works EVERY. SINGLE. TIME!

Now, Ram comes up with a new idea! He says, let’s ask if late check-out is possible! He goes and talks to the folks at reception who were already exhausted with some other issue, while I waited in the room, worried sick that Ram would pay shitloads just for a few extra hours! To my surprise the bugger got a deal! He was asked to take up free membership of Novotel Group or something which would let him do a late check out! Turns out, he already had one! SOOOOOOOOOOO!!! We were all settttttttt!! Get ready, go and wind up Keukenhof in a few hours and thennnnnnnnnn….then tenennnnnnnnnn….Okay…I should stop saying that!

Keukenhof Tulip Garden!

Now, Tulip Garden was something we did not want to miss, especially coz it was in bloom!  So we thought we would make a quick trip; start at 11 am going one hour, one hour for walking around and one hour to reach back home! Easy peasy! In hindsight, it was such a waste of time coz it was full of tourists! And we’re not even that into flowers! Gowsh, mad crowded, especially with Chinese people! Just like Indians, you’ll find them in bunches clicking pictures, all around Europe!

All we wanted to do was click a few pretty pictures but there was not a single frame that wouldn’t include other fellow fake flower enthusiasts! So half-hearted we move around, click a few pictures…grab a quick sandwich! (We had to keep a gap of two hours, before…) And head back home humming the only line worth humming from all of the Honey Singh songs! *Excited main edda…Excited mai edda…!*

Pink Paradise!

We reach home by 4 pm, change into comfy clothes, shut the curtains and chew that pink stuff! Ram said, ladies first and I obliged! It did not taste like anything I’ve had before! Wasn’t exactly bitter but wasn’t completely tasteless either! Ram had his portion and we lay down…well, we were still a bit randy from yesterday so…why not u know…!

And in a while, I started feeling that my world was turning neon!  Asked Ram if he was seeing it too, he said he wasn’t! And then we went on while my crazy ride begun! It was a dazzling mélange of the stuff I saw that day, only in brilliant colors! Colorful train stations, flowers, loads of ’em, Chinese women with pram making funny faces, I believe I even saw a unicorn! GOWSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! IT WAS CRAZYYYYYYYYYY!!!

P.S.:  At some point, my world was so full of neons that Ram looked like a black guy with glowing white teeth to me! (Imagine looking at things under a black light!) And then I kept wondering, what am I doing with this Indian? (When I told this to Ram later sometime, he said, “What are you doing with this Indian??? This bloody Indian paid for your Euro-trip! Itne me to Parisian mil jaati!”)


Well, through out the trip I felt that I was restrained. I wasn’t able to be out in the open! (It MIGHT have something to with the comforter that was covered on my face which I wanted off but wasn’t able to because I forgot that I wanted it off!) I felt like I wanted to fly but was held to the ground. There was a huge stadium with green lawn that I was underneath/underground/inside. I wanted to break open. But I didn’t, I couldn’t. But it wasn’t a bad feeling either, just that I wanted to live my 100%! And I really think, it was about my career.  I honestly feel that I could fly, but I’m not doing my bit. 🙂 Funnily, I didn’t need truffles, to tell that to me! 🙂

And then I felt amazing, to be held, the way Ram did. I felt loved. I was so glad, that he had my back! (Literally too! lol!) All in all, a lot of colors and tears! GOWSH! The tears! I’ve been told that I probably am an ‘Empath’ because I feel people! I get tears almost every time I hear peoples’ stories; excessively good or bad. And the entire trip, my eyes were dripping! But I couldn’t wipe ’em coz I forgot that I wanted to wipe ’em. They just kept dropping like pearls vanishing on that white sheet! 🙂

Exchanging Notes!

So, it is not like you’re out a 100% from the trip.  You keep coming back to reality and drifting off again and the effect fades ever so gradually.  So while I came back, Ram & I talked! Ram was telling me about his journey. He said that it is like, you close your eyes and connect with your inner self.  Going off to a higher plane, a lot like astral projection. He thought of his brother, he thought of meeting him there. And then he remembered Hindu scriptures and philosophies; rebirth.  He hoped and prayed that he was happy wherever he was.

Then he said that he was searching for me there. Could he meet me in that plane, since I was tripping too?  That’s something I do too, I search for him or miss him while tripping. Funnily, since my trip begun first and he generally has a higher threshold for things, I didn’t know if he was there! I thought/still think that I would have met him there had I known he was tripping too, like other day on that bridge on the canal! 🙂

That Moment!

And then he said something, that any woman would live and die to hear. And I thank my stars for letting me have that moment! 🙂 He explained to me the concept of Maya from Hindu scriptures while I wondered why he was doing it!  He said, to go on the next plane/level, a man needs to be free of worldly desires. And that’s a merit you need to achieve to kinda graduate to the next plane. But God, keeps a man entangled in worldly pleasures, desires, a web of illusions or ‘Maya’ to keep him in this plane.  Something, that stops the soul from achieving higher existence.

He smiled, looked into my eyes and said, “You are my Maya. You’re my reason to be here, in this world.” In that moment, I felt like a different person altogether. Like, some kind of celestial feminine energy, mother nature with long wavy hair, all-powerful – Maya! FAAAAAAK!!! How beautiful was that! The concept, the words, the moment! And honestly, I KNOW what he meant.  I’m generally the one to get excited if something works out or dejected if it doesn’t, but Ram, largely remains blissfully unaffected. For once, I don’t have better words to explain 🙂

Again, I said a silent prayer and thanked God for letting me experience this celebration of just being! (A while later…when I saw myself in the mirror…damn! I looked much more tiny, girly, with short hair compared to the Goddess that I thought I was in that moment!)

The Shame!

Remember the moment you were overjoyed after coming out from the exam hall, being super proud of the answers you wrote? And then some mo-fo comes along sharing his answers and you realize how stupid you were to even write the answers you wrote? That’s exactly what happened to me!

While this bugger was talking of astral projections, spiritual elevation and profound thoughts like Maya, there I was, thinking about a nonsensical colorful world with stupid train stations, tulips and funny Chinese women with prams! :O HOW SHITTY IS THAT NOW! (I could hear Septa Unella from GOT saying “Shame, Shame, Shame” with that harrowing sound of the bell in the background!)

And some more…!

When I told this to Ram, he first stated the obvious! “Because your world is full of BULLSHIT!” And then said what I stated in the beginning of the entire Amsterdam series! 🙂

There are literally zero chances of duplication of people and events in the history of the universe!  There have been millions of people on earth before you in the past, considering time and space. Earth moving around the sun and space being a constant you would think there is surely a possibility of history repeating…but now add the expansion of universe to the mix! There is no repetition of anything at all and everything absolutely is unique; people, places & situations! Next year the earth will be again in the same position around the sun as we know, but everything in the universe is moving away from each other so earth & sun will actually NEVER be in the same position EVER again WRT the universe! So YOU sweetheart, are the most exquisitely unique piece in the history of universe and there is never going to be anyone like you!

How do you think that made me feel? YUP! Even more shameful! But then…I accepted the title and owned it! “All hail the queen of Bullshit!” (Just like Jennifer Lawrence said in some X-Men movie, “Mutant & Proud!”)

The talkfest & the blank spaces

While the conversations were beautiful, it was the blank spaces that were divine! I still remember him holding me, us laying there for hours, looking outside that glass wall. (Gowsh, I’ve a thing for glass walls!) I’ll always have very fond memories of room 626, Novotel, Hoofdorf! 🙂 We kept checking the time in between just to make sure we reach the bus terminal on time.

Even while travelling with luggage, catching the trains to reach the terminal, we talked about stuff we never did before.  Like, nostalgia and anecdotes from my childhood.  You know, every time my father opened his almirah locker for something important, I used to run to him for the chocolate from that red nutties box he put in there, just for me? He used to point to his cheek as if asking me to bribe him with kisses, to get that chocolate! Man! I felt so lucky to have a blissful childhood like that, to have parents that always made me feel so loved and cherished! (Ram told me that I should tell him about it someday, I’m yet to do it though. 🙂 )

Winding up!

Our one night and two days in Amsterdam were, well, you know how they were. 🙂

And nowwwwwwwwwwww! Let me tell you about that freakin’ souvenir that got me into trouble at every fuckin airport! I decided to keep that truffle ka chhota sa dabba as a souvenir for the Amsterdam trip!(Since we were too high to buy a freaking fridge magnet!) Truffles are illegal and at security check, my backpack always went aside for being scanned again! Ram said “Phek de na dabba!” But Dil yeh ziddi hai! So I made it my tiny little jewellery box and carried it along everywhere I went in remaining Euro-trip!

I swear, it was worth spending those extra minutes, waiting for the security to check my backpack again and then hand it over! While they wondered what it was, I knew what it was! (And that tiny thing still sits in my drawer holding precious little chains, rings and earrings!)

So, that was that! Alright then hon! Hugs & Kisses & Truffles! Do try and share your bloody experience! It would be unfair if you won’t! 😛 Oh yeah! I’m mad curious about these trips! It is absolutely amazes me what human brain is capable of! Do share in the comments all the crazy trips you’ve been on or slip into my DMs! Either ways, I wanna know! 😀