I always wonder, what people think when they see the notification of my freshly published blog! I know it’s not exactly important, the blog, so they might not have any particularly strong feeling but more like what would be their ‘first reaction’! Like, “Shit! She blogged AGAIN?!” or “Aha! Let’s see what’s she up to this time!” 😛 Well, trust me I’m not looking for validation! I swear! But you can’t blame a girl for being curious now, can you?! 😀
So once again, after a prolonged break, got shit loads to tell! After the entire neighborhood went and came back from their months long hometown stays, we realized it was now or never! WFH and SFH! That’s why Vadodara Vacay 2021 happened and then there was Supernova! (Plus, had a housewarming ceremony in the family! 😀 And about the Supernova, will get to that a little later! 😀 )
So, I’ll start with gloomy stuff, coz I just have to get it out of my system and then I promise to make it up to you with kooky-kooky! So pick that hot cuppa, cuddle with that comforter (It’s bloody cold!!) and try to concentrate! (It’s tough to stay awake when in a blanket in winters…add my write up to that concoction! Can’t blame you, hon! But do me a favor and Keep Up With The Krazinashions! Okay, shitty try to make it rhyme with Kardashians…but the bar I’ve set is anyways too low! So we’re all good here!)
Death of my childhood
What is our childhood made of? People and places mainly? While I’m not the one to dwell in the past, I’ve absolutely no clue why I cling on to my childhood. May be because there is a certain comfort in familiarity. Familiar faces and places. These places and faces bring back some peculiarly pleasant feelings of childhood. Apart from freedom of having zero responsibilities, there was certain kind of excitement in the air due to all the unknowns. What’s gonna happen? What are you going to be? Who you’ll marry? Where’s life going to take you? All in all, these are not the feelings that I feel anymore…not in the exact same manner anyways…but going back to my hometown, visiting places that I used to as a child, meeting people that I used to, brings back those feelings, or at least grains and strains of it.
People & Places
While I know that things would have changed over years since I got married and left my city, to me it seemed so sudden! Coz everything was falling apart in an uncontrolled fashion. Trigger being, the housewarming ceremony in the family. The last family in my building apart from mine was shifting to their new house. The building once full of four families with bubbling and babbling kids was now left with just one. It was just us in the building and the only babbling I could hear was of my own kids.
It was almost a joint family with my kaka(uncle)’s family living right next to us. Separate kitchens of course but that never stopped me or my cousins or their kids to come and go whenever they please and eat on the table with tastier options. While we teach our kids about boundaries now, not calling people after a certain time or not entering the room when people are eating…we literally had no boundaries! Actually, ‘no boundaries’ is a wrong word for it….we were that ‘close knit’.
Imagine, my brother (this was before the word ‘cousin’ made it to our vocabularies) sitting on the window next to a shut main door at 12 am and engaging in banter with me and my mum lying on our beds while all lights were out. Now even as I type about it, I feel it’s so weird! And this was when I was a little kid. Then my brothers got married, they had kids and ‘no boundaries’ rule continued.
Then we had neighbors, tenants actually, but as good as family. They would have their daughters and their daughter’s daughters visit them/us in vacations. So all the girls plus cousins and their kids, we would sleep on the terrace and then again the late night talks! Listening to the big girls talk about love was so exciting and fancy! One was so much in love with Ajay Jadeja that she actually used to make wedding invitations in Gujju with her grandfather’s help! And another was in love with a classmate, a doctor! (They eventually got married and have two daughters now!) That was the first time I heard big girls talk about love and boys! And then there was war! 😛
Can you imagine me in a cat fight? I can’t!! LOL The only time I got in a physical fight with anyone was with her, a friend, a neighbor. LOL We had proper hair pulling wala fights for absolutely no solid reason! I think, one time I even threw a heavy padlock on her toe or something! Yikes! I’m really not proud of what I did but damn!! Such crazy times! Funnily, I don’t remember our mums ever fighting over us! (Now, we are so nice-decent-formal with each other whenever we talk that it’s actually amusing! In the hindsight, I guess we had certain love-hate relationship coz she was the one standing right next to me on my wedding day! )
And then I had my nieces, who I was close to! (still am!) Also, did I tell you, it’s blissful to have your bestie live right in front of your house!? Just one scream away?! Such wonderful times man! All in all, my childhood was so dreamy! Blissfully unaware of the world outside, we were in our own little world, playing, planning and performing skits (Mostly planning! Cos the turnout at the show would be embarrassingly sparse!), planning trips to wilderness (A night camp in Sindrot which never happened), making and faking ghost stories in and about a vacant house, making maggie in bestie’s kitchen and demonstrating the recipe like a pro chef on TV! MAN! NOSTALGIA GALORE!!! The list is endless! 🙂
AND NOW, NO ONE, hear me, NO ONE is around anymore. It’s all gone. Poof! A gush of wind and it’s all gone. My childhood.
The lane looks different. Tall buildings coming up in place of the small two-three storied houses. Most houses are vacant coz people shifted to bigger better locations, India or outside. Covid took away a few familiar faces that I was really fond of and rest of the faces, they too were not the same anymore.
May be the change in the mirror was so subtle that I failed to notice. Everyone I knew was getting older; my cousins, neighbors, my parents. It crushed me when I realized why I was holding the back of the seat instead of my father’s shoulders while riding on the scooter. He is getting old. Getting old is never a problem I guess, but seeing people, once all mighty, now…not as strong, hurts. Especially the people you love.
As I said, I’m really not a person to cling on to my past. I feel, the day you start talking about your past more than future, irrespective of your age, you become old. But losing my childhood, bit by bit, felt bad. It is never going to be the same. The house is never going to be full, neither the building nor the lane. It was never going to be the same anyways… but the realization sucked.
Having Ram and kids around me helped! Bringing me back to the pleasant present every single time I drift! And then there was joy in watching my mum doing masti with my little ones! Her feeding them ‘hot hot chapatis’ and my kids asking me, “Did you have this kind of food EVERY SINGLE DAY while growing up?” (I blushed then, but that felt bad! 😛 Also, I did not tell them about the kind of tantrums I used to throw for eating that homecooked food everyday! :P) My father spoiling them with goodies! Riddh wanting to accompany my father everywhere, even to banks coz he loved riding on a scooter! The list is again, endless 🙂 Counting my blessings; I went shopping with them one more time, argued with my mamasaurus one more time, hugged them one more time, cherished the time I have with them one more time…
Outside the house, the best part about the entire episode was that while people moved to different places, they’re still very much in touch! I met ALL MY PEOPLE! Just like that precious last ferrero rocher that I hid from the kids in that bedside table…somewhere safe in the warm compartment of our hearts, the love remains intact! (okay! I hide chocolates from my kids coz the buggers leave nothing for me! There’s a kid inside me who loves chocolates as much as they do! Now you know where my stash is!)
BS apart, it was just sooooo beautiful to meet my people; my cousins (maternal and paternal), nieces, nephews (and their special friends! 😛 ), best friends, school friends, college friends, family friends! I am so overwhelmed with joy that the bond still remains strong! Now we meet with families! Our own crazy kids who will have their own crazy childhood tales to tell!
A very heartfelt ‘Thank You’ to everyone we met for all the love. Thank you for the amazing time and conversations! Thank you for valuing what we have! (Missed meeting a few who were not in India, but saving that for next time!)
Alright! As I promised, time to get on with the GOOD STUFF! 😀
So I met a whole bunch of people I already knew and adored and then was this guy, I always wanted to meet and know coz the stories around him made him quite an enigma! 😛 (We’ll call him Supernova* coz casanova is so cliched! ) And trust me, meeting him was just so bloody disorienting! The stories he shared seemed like a parallel reality that I was never a part of! Same school, same class, yet two contrasting worlds with zero overlap! It was such an adventure to see life from a notorious, infamous guy’s POV! Living life on the edge, he was breaking all rules while I was following each and every single one of them like an obedient little gal! (Except for the most important one; Studying!! I just couldn’t! Blame it all on my busy/gala childhood! 😛 )
At some point into the stories, I was like, “Dude either girls are blind or you have some rare talent that I don’t know of…” coz let’s just say, he’s no Hritik Roshan! And then I felt this strong emotion…his helplessness….his inability to demonstrate…nah…flaunt his artistry! 😛 But then few more stories to the mix and well…I’m just gonna take his word for it! 😛
Groups & Classification
Nah! Not getting into 6th grade science syllabus…but trust me, you wanna know this one! Guess what he taught me! Classification of girls into groups based on their hotness quotient and availability during school days! 😛 Check this out!
So, Green zone was a group of girls considered hot and were available. Red zone, a group of girls that were highly sought after but were unavailable coz they were either uninterested or already committed! AND then! Hold your breath, there was this Purple zone! A bunch of girls that had ‘potential to be hot!’ 😛 (BHMB is an acronym I heard sometime back! ‘Badi hoke maal banegi!’ You’re welcome! :P) Apparently, he said, I fell in that category! I did not know whether to laugh or cry! 😛 (I desperately hope I’ve reached my true potential now coz this is as far as I can get, hon! Ab nahi to Phir Kab?! 😛 )
Also, there was this ‘Black Spider Gang’! Ah, no complex permutations and combinations or prerequisites here….you just gotta be a shorty! 😛 (Thankfully, it was an all boys gang otherwise yours truly would have made it to that list as well! 😛 )
More lives in one life
What do you think about living more lives in one life? Like, there is just one life and you can’t do it all! You’re either this or that, but not both! So you live life through others; listen to their stories, experience their experiences, feel their happiness or gloom and see the world through their eyes! (Or as Ram puts it, ‘Keeda hai tere me’ for all the curiosity that I have! 😛 ) Funnily, we don’t know people till we actually know them! The Supernova had such profound answer when I asked him the question I always wanted to ask!
“From what I’ve heard, people regret ‘not doing things’ rather than ‘doing things’ and since you have actually ‘done things’, do you have any regrets?”
What he came up with was…let’s say, not the answer I expected! 🙂 Normally boisterous about his conquests, with a tinge of rue he said, rest all was okay but when he saw his dear ones suffer, especially females, it haunted him; the things he did in the past. It felt like Karma to him. While I tried to convince him that he was too young to know what he was doing….he said, he knew…one always knows.
That precious moment, of knowing a person, of truly* knowing a person…I was so glad that I met him. 🙂 (For a moment I could see the glimpses of the reason girls would have liked him…he was honest, straight forward and unabashedly real.)
The Last Day!
The entire trip was filled with such amazing time of fun, frolic and laughter but I had to squeeze in another lifetime of joy before I left…or went again! Entire night we were jamming with my folks (a bunch of 22 years old!), listening to awesome music and singing our hearts and souls out! Morning 5 am, went to have Maggie at a small food joint in Alkapuri and ran around on deserted roads which would boast of crazy jams in day time! Slept at 6 am and woke up at 9 am for a photoshoot with supremely talented, Riya Dave! (She is a super talented cinematographer with years of experience and recently she started freelancing as well! Do check out her Instagram handle! Psst! She is as awesome in front of the camera as she is behind!!)
Oh, did I mention Ram gracefully declined being part of the party with 22 years old coz he felt he wouldn’t fit in but I would coz I’m ‘still a kid’ or ‘retard’ or idk what he exactly said or meant! 😛
It is such an absolute pleasure to be surrounded by people who love you and you love too! Mummy, Papa, Kaka, Kaki, Brothers, Bhabhis and my entire clan, we had such wonderful family time which goes without saying, involves elaborate menus and crazy amount of food! By the time we had to leave, I could not fit into the pants I wore while flying there! I was/am 3 Kgs heavier; all the slogging of 2021 to get a beach body went down the drain along with those cheese sandwiches, pani-puris and puranpolis! 😛
Now back home and ready to battle! Battle my old demons; the sloth and gluttony! And this time (like every single time) I’m ready! I swear I’ll get better! (or at least try!) 😛 Meanwhile, you drink that whey and slog it out…but sneak in that extra nap, sweets! Coz sleep and the rest days are as important!
So, what’s your resolution for 2022? Pop in the comments!
*Supernova*: The name is changed to protect the privacy of the not-so-innocent!
P.S.: When I asked the bugger if he was comfortable with what was written…he said….‘Score’ wala question kyun nai likha? 😛 (And went on to add ten other things that I’m glad I did not write about! 😛 )