It’s all LIES!!

Okay! So, I had gotten something even more embarrassing than ringworm at a wrong place… BUT! I swear I am absolutely fine now! Ready to meet the world without being a threat to their peace and well-being! And now when I think, it all comes back to me in flashes…

Flash 1: It all started in Baroda…

Kids and I went to Gujarat for Dusshera Vacation. To be more specific, for “Navratri – The Ultimate Dance Festival”! (Check out #highonoomph on Instagram for my pictures in Chaniya-Choli, our traditional Garba attire!)  We had a great time; family lunches, meeting childhood buddies and school mates, late night drives with cousins for sodas and lemon-shots! (Gujarat is a dry state, pal! We have to make do with lemon shots…and honestly, I never needed alcohol to get high or be kooky!)

After all this crazy socializing, we came back home with such beautiful memories…interestingly, that was not the only thing we got back home….

Flash 2:  Back to Bangalore!

We reached Bangalore and I got busy setting up the house that had turned into a messy bachelor pad! That is when my friends called and said they wanted to come over and meet since it had been long.

They came home and while we ate the sweets and savories that my folks in Baroda had given, I kept scratching my head!  I felt my scalp had been a bit itchy since I had gone to a water park in Baroda and so were my legs. I thought may be I had got an infection of sorts but just to make everyone laugh I said something stupid like, “Girls! Stay away from me! My head is so itchy that I think I have lice!” and we all laughed out loud.

Flash 3: Ram’s Cousin’s Baby Shower

Just the weekend before Diwali, the community magazine I had been working on for months was going to be released in Kali Pooja event.  I was pretty excited about it as the magazine had ‘Designing and Layout By Chandani D’ on it!  It also featured one of my travel articles and I was the official Emcee of the event!

It was all going well but three days before the event, Ram’s uncle calls him and invites us for his cousin’s baby shower and I wish I had a choice!

So, at the baby shower, imagine me in a pretty green silk sari, zero make up (Ram’s folks are not big fans of make up!) and the ever-present jasmine “gajra” in my pony-tailed hair! (Well, in some parts of South India, keeping your hair open means disrespecting elders, so..) I believe I looked pretty!  But while I was trying to be all elegant and poised in a saree, all I wanted to do was…SCRATCH THE HELL OUT OF MY HEAD!! And when I looked down, Dhruvi WAS SCRATCHING THE HELL OUT OF HER HEAD!!

Flash 4:  Diwali celebration in Dhruvi’s school

Generally, Dhruvi doesn’t like going to school as she has to wake up early! But that day, she was all excited to go since they had Diwali celebration and she could wear her favorite “princess dress” to the school! She had just woken up and Ram, Dhruvi and I were snuggling up on the bed! (Love the morning snuggles!  ) And as we cuddled up, she was still scratching her head so we thought of investigating.  In matter of seconds, we saw something super tiny CRAWLING in her head!  Ram and I, both were equally amazed!  IT ACTUALLY WAS A LOUSE! 

Neither Ram nor I had ever seen a louse in our entire lives!  In childhood, I used to complain of itch in my head just so that I could lay in my mum’s lap and she would in-a-way play with my hair searching for something!  I remember how excited she used to be when she used to actually find one and would exclaim, “This one is huge!”  I thought it was all fun and for some very odd reason, totally believed that lice were some mythical creatures that never existed in real! Just like unicorns!

We immediately took her to our balcony and started hunting!  We got a couple of them! And ewwwwwww! It was yuck! The sound! I remember my mother squishing them in between the nails of her two thumbs! Now I know how it sounds like! It is a weird-wicked pleasure to do that! And we decided right way, to not send her to the school!  Any other day she would have loved it but today was not the day!

Flash 5: Challenge Accepted!

So it was confirmed! We were battling head lice and more than being dangerous, it is absolute nuisance! It is just so annoying to have that constant itch and even worse imagining something disgusting crawling on your scalp! I right away went to a smaller store, a little far from our home so they won’t recognize or remember me.  Unfortunately, due to Diwali rush, the place was full of ladies bargaining for the earthen lamps (Diyas) and Rangoli colors!

Ram had very conveniently slipped away saying that parking was not available and left me in the store all by myself!  I swear, it felt like I was going to a pharmacy and asking for a “you know what”! Needless to say….I was sh*t embarrassed! Gathering courage, in a low voice, I asked for a “fine-toothed” comb and he handed over a box of combs but alas! I knew that was not the thing I was looking for!

At this point, something extraordinary happened!  I just looked deep into the shopkeeper’s eyes and he literally heard my unspoken words! He just went with a little “Oh!” and smiled.  He then handed over the right box! I quickly picked two combs, before the ladies around could notice, paid for it and hurriedly left! I really wish he had covered the combs in a news paper and then put them into that black bag, it would have saved me some awkward stares.

Flash 6: Battle won! 

I absolutely went crazy combing her Medikar-washed hair with the comb, while “Kar Har Maidaan Fateh…” played in a loop in my head!  At that point the only difference between a mother monkey and me was that the monkey chews the lice while I swallowed them! (EWWW! I KNOW! Just couldn’t stop myself from typing that! I swear it was a JOKE! I am a vegetarian, really! Okay, Eggitarian!  But I eat just hen-eggs…ewww….damn! Can we please forget I ever typed all this?!)

Flash Finale!

Instructions on Medikar bottle asked to use it for a few Sundays but I went crazy using it almost alternate days! And damn! It was one crazy ride, lice is easy to spot but nits or the eggs are so tough to get rid of!  Dhruvi’s problem was solved but mine persisted! Ram tried to help but he pulled out more hair than lice from my head!  Thankfully my brother and his family visited us for Diwali and my Bhabhi (SIL) turned out to be a God sent angel!  I am now 100% lice-free and there is no need to unfriend me!!

Okay, so this is the deal! This is the first and last time we are talking about this! So, if you ever ask me anything even remotely related to this, I swear my answer would be,

It’s all lice…err…LIES!

Useful Tip:  Every time you do the Medikar (Or any lice-oil/shampoo) routine, do change your bed sheets, pillow cases, caps and anything that touches your hair, put them for a wash.  It truly helps in not getting infected again! I chose Medikar coz it says it is 100% herbal and safe for kids.  I’ve put this information here just to add some value to otherwise absolutely useless content!!